The Business of Making Us Better: How to Avoid Being Frustrated, Disappointed, Disillusioned and Broke!


 “To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.” –Douglas Adams

As the New Year rolls out, I had a revelation while I was doing my usual research on coaches, websites, writers, bloggers and entrepreneurs in the business of making us better.  And this revelation really got me pretty worked up so if I appear to rant, forgive me.

 What I realized was this.

There are thousands of people online in the business of making us better, professing to have the solutions for our happiness and success.

And among those I’ve researched, I noticed a few commonalities and maybe you have noticed them too.

They are that most are women with unrealistically beautiful hair and makeup. They’re very polished and appear to be overwhelmingly happy with big smiles and beautiful kids, husbands and lots of friends and live these amazingly wonderful lives all the time…bs!

And if you just subscribe to their site you’ll get some great free stuff! But if you want the real answers then you’ll have to sign up for their program designed specifically for you and pay a lofty one-time fee, or take advantage of their discounted payment plan which will only be offered for a limited time; so get in now!….sound familiar?

But as you find your way through their well-thought out pitches and strategically-placed graphics, you read that’s there’s a waiting list because they’re so great at what they do that everyone wants to get on board with them, so you gotta wait…unexpected bs!

My point here is not to discredit anyone but let’s be for real! Just like any business you have people who are in the business because it’s who they are and they run their business with the sincere intention of making people better.  And then, there are those that are simply in it for the money!

I mean, I understand that everybody has to make a living and if you got it like that, and you have no problem sleeping at night, then gurl, make your money!

But shame on you!

As a woman I realize that when we are at our most vulnerable, we need to reach out and stand on hope and direction that can not only withstand the weight of our challenges but is strong and true enough to help carry us over.  And these women know full well the weight or our challenges. But they bank on us diving in head-on, heart first and eyes closed!

The reality is you do pay for what you get and everyone’s work has value! But we don’t have time or money to waste on anything and anybody whose only true intentions are to get in our pockets!

So how do we wade through all the bs. and actually find what’s real? How do we avoid wasting our time and money on sh*t that’s just gonna leave us more frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned and more broke than we were before we clicked “pay now”?!

Ladies, it is up to us to establish our own criteria for vetting those we select to help make us better.  Moreover, we have to continue to question what and who we’re gonna believe and why before we put out a dime!

But the truth is, sometimes we want it so bad, that we let down our guard and become completely exposed and vulnerable in every way.

Instead, try this….

1. Keep your sense of God given intuition and wisdom open and turned on.  When turned on, females have a natural bullsh*t meter that goes off whenever someone is being insincere or deceptive. The challenge is when we get really passionate about something or someone; we can sometimes ignore the signs and then its too late!. So, stay tuned in and turned on, it will never let you down!

2. Make a list of all the people, male or female who have made a major impact in your life or who you have greatly admired; then make a list of their character traits and why they made such an impact on you. Now look for an inkling of these traits in anybody that you do business with. If they don’t resemble one of the “greats” in your life in some way, move on!

3. Ask yourself, “Is this how I’d do business?”

Make sure that whoever you’re considering doing business with is going about it in a way that doesn’t conflict with your own sense of decency, appropriateness, ethnics, honesty and compassion. And if they are doing business like you would, you’ll feel a greater sense of “success” even if it appears different from what is expected and that’s ok!

4.      Can you really afford it? Get Creative!

Even if it everything really sounds good and seems to be the right fit but you have to rob Peter to pay Paul to afford it, stop! You’re just creating a problem that you’re going to have to deal with sooner or later. And it kinda puts a negative light on what you’re trying to accomplish in the first place.

If it’s right now, then it will still be right when you can afford it. Here are a few ideas.

  • Create a mini savings’ plan and begin to set aside a small amount over a period of time until you have what you need.
  • Contact the person providing the service and share with them how passionate you are about their program and ask if they have any other affordable options that would allow you to participate.
  • Do a small crowd fund project on your blog or facebook and ask your friends or followers to invest in your dream.
  • Keep looking. You may find something similar for free or more affordable somewhere else.

So that’s it!

Checkout more like this on my new blog !


A Week of Parenting!

The theme of this week’s posts is parenting. As a mother of a 26 year son, 16 & 9 year daughters, 10 month old grandson, stepmother of two, and as a daughter who no longer has a mother, I have learned that parenting is …hard, rewarding, frustration, confusing, it is the best, the worst, its filled with love,  concern, anger, marvel, surprises, happiness, sadness, disappointment, greatness, anxiousness, laughter, tears, applause, hugs, tissue, disaster, A’s, F’s ,screaming, singing,clapping,  fevers, heartache, toothaches, stomachaches, vomit, broken bones, pampers, pacifiers, braces, glasses, haircuts, makeup, lies, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, celebrations, firsts, lasts, dogs, cats, bikes, cars, appointments, conferences, prayers, lessons, ribbons, trophies, teachers, doctors, coaches, texts, facebook, dates, cell phones, yes’, NO’s!..ETC, ETC.  and I would have it any other way!
How do you describe it?